Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
