Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
