Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
