"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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