did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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