You work out of a Hotel?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Houston, we have a squirter
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
