Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
