I swear she didn't look like that last week.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
