Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
