He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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