Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
