I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
