Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
