i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
