I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
