You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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