Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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