A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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