im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
