:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
