just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
