I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
