and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
