Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
