this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
