September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
