in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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