i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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