"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
