Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
