I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
