I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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