East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
