my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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