I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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