We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I DEMAND FORESKIN
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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