it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
