She is in my trunk
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
