Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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