help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
