You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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