No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
