Screwed.edu
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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