Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
