New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
