I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
