with your own penis?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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