How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
