I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
