It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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