how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
