You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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