Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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