why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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