I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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