Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
