Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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