The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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