I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
