That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
